So be it
by Betaneveralpha
Summary: James and Peter goes home during Christmas Holiday, leaving Remus and Sirius to fend for themselves. Sirius acts rashly and gives Remus a kiss, and to his surprise, it's returned, and more.
1. Instalment 1

**Authors notes:**

_**This is a little story I've been working on for awhile, it's been practically finished for a year, but I didn't dare post it, I still don't know what I'm doing sharing this with you... The story is in two parts, this being the first, naturally. First and second is the same situation told from different perspective.**_

_**This is my first posted story, so please be kind. Don't let it stop you from being honest though! Review, if only to flame, "So be it".**_

_**Love **__****_

**So be it – 1****st**** instalment**

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Sirius could hardly summon a comprehensive thought, at that moment he was too focused on the noises that escaped the werewolf in front of him. Remus, sweet, kind, beautiful Remus. He'd just had to kiss him, he couldn't help himself. It had been a spur of the moment, not thought fully through, stupid, daring and a desperate sort of thing. He and Remus were the only ones from their dorm that had decided to stay for the holidays. Remus because he'd rather spent his last transformation of the year at Hogwarts with the school nurse instead of his parents house, and Sirius because he couldn't stand his family, and he didn't want to force himself upon the willing Potters once to many times. They'd just gotten inside from a snowball fight that embarked the departure of Prongs and Wormtail and Remus had laughed at something he'd said while being red cheeked and covered with snow. Sirius had only just managed to get of his cloak and gloves and all those things that kept the cold from outside from touching him, and then Remus had done that, that thing he did. The little sigh of content that made Sirius stomach curl and his mind race to the mornings he'd dreamt about, those mornings when he'd wake up spooned against Remus.

And he couldn't help himself, he'd unconsciously moved over the floor until he was right next to him, Remus had looked up with half a smile on his face and looked at him curiously. And Sirius couldn't have helped pushing him against the wall, he couldn't have helped pushing their bodies together, he couldn't have helped grabbing Remus' head and he couldn't have helped brushing his lips against his. A small gentle kiss. It had been rather short, because the moment Sirius lips touched the werewolf's his mind caught up with him and he'd pulled back. He'd looked into the face of his friend, one of his best friends.

Remus had been staring at him wide-eyed with a shocked expression, but he didn't move away. His hands had been hanging limply by his sides and his mouth had been slightly parted forming a silent 'Oh'. Sirius was going to move away, force a laugh, claim insanity, he would've, but then Sirius lost his sanity for real. Remus' tongue had left its home and wetted his lips quickly. Sirius had started at the small gesture, it was almost as if he anticipated another kiss...And then he had that moment of insanity again when he'd leaned in once more and kissed the boy. And this time Remus had responded. Sirius had whimpered when Remus lips moved against his, hesitant lips upon his. It had been so sweet, so wonderful, that Sirius had to tighten his grip upon the boy and he _had_ to, he was _forced_ to kiss Remus with the most feeling he could. And he'd brushed his hands over Remus' cheek as the other boy had shuddered, and oh sweet Merlin have mercy, he'd whimpered too. Sirius had longed for that noise for so long; he'd dreamt about it, he'd imagined it those nights when he'd touched himself in his dormitory bed after he'd accidently touched Remus or even worse, Remus had accidently touched _him._

And now that that noise was real, he felt himself loose the little control he'd of the situation and he gripped Remus' hands tight in his left hand and forced them up above his head, trapping him in his embrace, and he kissed him feverishly. Remus opened his lips and Sirius took advantage of it immediately by pushing his tongue inside and, Merlin save him, twist it around Remus'. He couldn't keep holding Remus' hands above his head, after all, he wanted Remus to touch him, but not yet, he couldn't imagine functioning normally if he did. So he gripped them a little tighter, forced them up against the wall, and released them hoping that Remus would understand the message. He did. And Sirius only just then realized that he had just been given permission to _touch _the boy, and the prospect of it made him dizzy. He let both of his hands travel down his friend's/lover's/boyfriend's body. Boyfriend? The prospect of having a relationship with the boy that panted against him almost made him cry out with joy. His hands brushed against the werewolf's chest and he pulled the shirt and knitted vest free from his pants and as he moved his hands underneath the shirt, he felt them quiver. He had to restrain himself from kissing the boy again when he panted and groaned and whimpered and he didn't know what else he did, but it was good. More than good, it was perfect.

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Sirius was touching him underneath his shirt, Sirius his best friend was touching him underneath his shirt and Oh Merlin it felt amazing. So far he'd only brushed his fingers against Remus' abdomen, but he didn't have any complains to report. And it wasn't as if he'd had any other experiences to compare it to, and even if he had, he doubted it would've come close to this.

He knew that soon he would be forced to push him away; soon he would have to talk, to try to figure out what Sirius wanted with this. On the other hand, he thought as Sirius grounded his hips into his, he kind of felt what Sirius wanted with this. And when he thought of the growing bulge in his own pants he suddenly couldn't quite keep his hands to himself anymore.

He was hesitant at first, he didn't know if Sirius would allow him to lower his hands. But when he didn't stop him from trailing them over his arms he realised that Sirius had only held his hands above his head to keep him from pushing him away. He would never push him away; on the contrary, his first action was to wrap his arms around Sirius' back and push him flush against him, slipping one of his hands into his hair while the other trailed down his back. Sirius groaned appreciating and slipped his hands up Remus' back. He shivered as Sirius slipped his thigh in between Remus'. He panted into Sirius neck as Sirius started to trail kisses over his face and when he started to grind his hips into Remus' again he ground back with as much passion as he could summon.

Sirius growled. He'd realised the difficulty with Remus wearing his vest, and for the first time Remus' cursed the person who'd designed the School uniform, for at this moment Sirius could be touching his chest, kissing his skin and do all sorts of things to him that made Remus' body burn. So when Sirius started tugging at the garment, Remus raised his arms above his head to allow Sirius to slip it off. Sirius was quick in undressing Remus, pulling the garment over his head and throwing it behind him to fall on top of James' bed. Thank the wizard all mighty that they were alone, alone to do this.

"Sirius..." It slipped from his tongue before he could help it. Or moaned it would've been closer to the truth. Sirius was unbuttoning his shirt, kissing scars that he uncovered in the process. Remus gripped Sirius' back tightly as Sirius kissed the long scar that originated to the right of his chest and went all the way up to his right ear. He trailed it with kisses from the bottom of it, all the way up to his ear, and nibbled lightly at the earlobe making Remus gasp. He was most embarrassed by the noises he was making, he'd never thought that anyone could provoke such sounds from him. And yet, Sirius didn't seem to mind his panting, or the gasps, moans, groans and Merlin knows whatever else escaped his mouth; on the contrary, he gripped Remus tighter when one of the sounds escaped him.

"Ah!" Sirius had slipped his head back towards Remus' chest and wrapped his lips around a nipple making Remus arch his back and fill his hands with raven hair. Such a simple thing and it made Remus want to fall into pieces. He shook and whimpered. A brush of teeth and Remus felt how his feet slipped, how his legs turned into jelly. Sirius wrapped his arms around his waist and held him firmly as he abused his flesh. He was moaning, something that made Sirius re-double his attack on the sensitive nub.

"Sirius..." Remus slipped a hand underneath his friends chin and tipped it upwards releasing his nipple from the torment it was under. He slipped his other hand so he was holding Sirius head in his hands looking deeply into his eyes. He took in the lidded eyes, the bruised lips, how his hair was sticking out in all sorts of weird angles and he was struck with the thought that Sirius was by far the most beautiful and intoxicating person he'd ever met, and he had only realized it now. He _had_ to lean in close, brushing his lips against a closed eye. And then the other. And then he kissed the lips briefly. Sirius leaned his forehead against Remus'. He was staring at Remus in a most peculiar way. Suddenly he felt Sirius's hands slip up and take his face into his hands. Remus trailed his hands down his back as Sirius gave him the same treatment he'd given him a bit earlier.

He kissed first the right eyelid, then the left. And then he brushed his nose against his. Remus had never noticed that Sirius eyes were so blue. They were darker than he'd ever seen them, probably because of their earlier actions and Sirius looked at Remus in the same peculiar way as he had earlier. He slipped a hand down his cheek and Remus turned his head into his palm. Sirius smiled.

"You just might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" Remus blushed scarlet at the words but looked intently at him from under his half closed lids. Sirius growled and pushed himself into his body again. "You don't know what you do to me"

Remus was filled with the loveliest sensation at those words. He felt hot all over and he felt the need to undress the lovely boy before him, so he did. He trailed his hands from Sirius back to his stomach, making Sirius gasp in the process, and then he started plucking each button from its hold, uncovering beautiful skin that he kissed and nibbled and licked. Sirius groaned and whimpered just like Remus had done earlier and suddenly he understood why Sirius got excited when he heard his responses, the feeling of knowing that _he_ was causing the quickened breath, the whimpers... It made him proud and it made fill with the feeling of heat, of needing.

Sirius' hands were hanging at his sides, letting Remus do what he pleased. Do as he please...? A thought popped into his head; a submissive Sirius. The thought made him shiver. A Sirius that he could do all sorts of things with, images kept popping into his head. Sirius sprawled beneath him on the bed, panting, begging for Remus to touch him. The image made him snarl and Sirius looked up at him quickly, a worried look upon his face.

Remus surprised himself by pushing Sirius roughly away from him. At first Sirius looked hurt but then when Remus moved over the floor pushing Sirius with him as he went, his eyes widened with surprise. Remus smiled, it was almost feline the way he pushed Sirius down on the closest bed, not caring whose it was but realizing it was Sirius all the same. Sirius looked up at him through lidded eyes from his position on the bed and Remus threw himself on him, pinned him down, spreading his legs with a knee and forced Sirius' arms above his head. He kissed him hard before trailing kisses down his throat. He nibbled at the flesh, careful not to draw blood but still hard enough to mark the skin there with love bites of all kinds and Sirius whimpered. Whimpered at the action he was taking.

"Mine..." It was spoken unconsciously, whispered against the skin of his new found addiction. But then he realized _what_ he'd said. He pulled back, shocked, and stared down wide-eyed at Sirius, whatever had possessed him? Whatever had possessed him to behave like a wolf, whatever possessed him to want to claim Sirius as his own? He sat up and moved away, he couldn't look at Sirius, what on earth would he think?

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Sirius missed Remus' weight immediately when he moved away from him, he frowned at the boy but Remus wouldn't look at him. Sirius could see that his face had a red tinge to it. A beautiful red tinge. Merlin, he was gorgeous blushing, he wanted him to blush all over. But hey, _why_ was he blushing?

"I'm sorry" Sirius had to strain himself to hear the words from the small boy. _Sorry?! For what? Making all his dreams come true?_ He sat up right next to him, leaning in to hear his words, tilting his head to the side.

"Sorry for what?" Remus turned to look at him in surprise.

"I... You heard what I said..." Remus blushed and avoided his eyes. Oh my Merlin... Remus was actually worried. Worried? Because he'd let slip that he's dominant in bed, because he'd made all Sirius' dreams come true? Because he'd let down his guard and just felt? How could he be sorry? Why on earth would he be sorry? Sirius sure wasn't. He would've done anything to hear what Remus had just told him, anything for him to be dominant in bed, it made him burn, it made him think of all the dreams he'd had of Remus pushing him down, playing rough, making him his. He shuddered at the thought, blushing at the image. He looked at the boy again, he was such a shy boy, he probably felt embarrassed about showing a more dominant side... Or maybe, he was worried that _he_ would be bothered that he had? He moved closer to Remus desperate to make him feel better, he slipped his arms around the slightly smaller boy, letting his head drop on his shoulder.

"And you thought I would be upset about you being alpha male?" Sirius whispered, kissing his collar bone holding him close. He begged that he'd got it right, begged that Remus would know that he didn't, by all thing that were glory, have anything against him being dominant!

"I..ye-...are you?" The words were practically forced out of his mouth.

"No. I'm not upset." He said and he couldn't help smiling as he said it. "If I was surprised?" he whispered in his ear. "Yes." His hands moved on their own accord against the werewolf's abdomen, pulling the shirt apart and slipping it of. "Disappointed?" He threw the shirt away, slipping hands over erect nipples, making Remus sigh. "Merlin no." He practically laughed at the thought. "No, no, no." He kissed the beautiful boys neck, with feeling, trying to communicate what, exactly, he felt for the boy.

"You're not?" Sirius started, but then he realized that the boy was actually this uncertain. He slipped his arms around him, encircled him, held him close.

"I'm not..." Remus looked at him, and Sirius looked back with as much feeling as he could possibly have. "Merlin Remus. Don't you know?" Remus looked at him, with a slightly confused expression. Gosh, he looked adorable confused, that little crease between his eyebrows and... Stop, you should think about how Remus is feeling, not how he looks! He summoned up all the courage he could and started to speak.

"I've dreamt about this, I've dreamt about this for _years_, I've imagined touching you" He caressed the beautiful face in front of him. "I've imagined telling you how I feel. But I've never actually _thought_ that this might happen." He felt his own nervousness shiver, spasm in his body, but he took the plunge anyway. "I love you. I've been in love with you for years... Since... Merlin I don't know" He looked away, he couldn't look at Remus when he was saying this, when he was summoning all the courage he possessed. There was silence and when Sirius looked back at Remus he was fidgeting, looking out in the air in thought, looking absolutely adorable. Sirius was filled with affection; maybe Remus wasn't ready for the same feelings as he was but he hadn't said no to more... obvious feelings.

"You still don't believe me?" Sirius said slowly, smiling at him. Remus didn't have time to respond for the next second, he'd pushed him down on the bed, in a very similar position that Sirius had been minutes before. "Let me prove it to you" And then he leaned down, and proceeded to do just that.

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_**So? Worth reviewing?**_


	2. Instalment 2

**Authors notes:**

_**Hello again, this is the second instalment. This instalment is the same as the first, but in reversed perspective, hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks all you guys that have review or added this as one of your favourites and so on. It was a nice experience, it was fun writing it, mostly, and I really enjoyed your support!**_

_**Love **__**B**_

**So be it – 2****nd**** instalment**

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Remus didn't know how he got himself into this position. He didn't know when these feelings, which were now enveloping his entire senses, had started to wrap themselves like Deathly Snares around his heart. He couldn't explain why he hadn't pushed him away, why he hadn't punched him or at least tried to joke about it. Saying that he wasn't serious. Except, he was serious. He was Sirius. And not only was it Sirius who was pushing him hard against their dormitory wall, not only did he have his lips against his, but it was Sirius that was caressing Remus' face with such tenderness that it made Remus loose his balance, and in the process loose himself into the embrace.

He was kissing his best mate, a boy, and not only was it a great kiss, a mind-blowing kiss, that made his legs turn into jelly and forced him to wrap his arms around Sirius neck to support himself, but it didn't disturb him. He was kissing his best friend, who he up until this very moment, had never even thought of kissing, had never even thought of in another way that pure friendship, but from that moment on he couldn't imagine ever wanting to stop thinking of him in that way. As their tongues battled as he gripped him and moaned, and Merlin knows what else, it made such perfect sense to him that he couldn't let his mind catch up with him. For would he, he would step away. And that was the last thing he wanted to do. Sirius, fun loving, _beautiful_ Sirius. How couldn't he have known, how come it had taken him 7 years knowing him, before he could know himself? And why, oh sweet Merlin why, hadn't he thought of kissing Sirius earlier? Now as he stood there, 7 years since the first time they met, being pushed into the wall with a growing urgency from his friend, he let himself feel what he'd probably always felt, and it blew him away. He felt such love, such love for him.

Suddenly Sirius grabbed his head with one hand, enabling him to kiss him more passionately, while gripping Remus' hands in his other. Remus gasped into the kiss wanting to wrap his hands around the wonderful boy, push himself against the boy. But Sirius gripped his hands and trapped Remus in his embrace by forcing his hands above his head, and Remus wasn't bothered about it at all. In fact, Remus could think of no other thing he'd rather be doing at that time. He was becoming more and more out of breath as Sirius became more and more aggressive. Still, even though Sirius was kissing him hard, the grip on his hands was not. Remus could've easily removed them from their position above his head, but he didn't.

When Sirius finally let go of his hands, he squeezed them and pushed them further into the wall before releasing them. Remus understood the message, even though Sirius hand wasn't trapping them, they should stay put. Sirius let go of his neck as well and let both of his hands run down Remus' chest. Remus was embarrassed to hear himself whimper and gasp as hands explored his chest and stomach. He felt Sirius grin against his lips and groaned when the latter bit his lower lip playfully. He had never been so filled with feelings for another before. He'd rarely gotten the chance to get close enough to someone to actually allow them anything other then just kissing, if even that. Funny how he was letting Sirius do all these things he'd never done before, although he wasn't quite sure what he felt about it.

But then Sirius slipped his hand inside Remus' shirt and he didn't care that he'd never thought of Sirius as anything other than a friend before, just as long as he continued to touch him like that.

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Remus had started to touch him, hesitant at first, as if to make sure he wouldn't push him away, but Sirius longed to feel Remus' hands on him. So when the werewolf brushed his hands over Sirius' arms he had to hold the moans in, he had to force himself not to come from simple touching, he don't think he could've stood the shame. But then again, he'd waited for this moment for years, no, not waiting, waiting implied that he'd known that this was going to happen; he surely didn't know that _this _was going to happen. Had he known that he'd be kissing, touching and hearing all these things from Remus, his addiction for the past couple of years, had he known that on the 19th of December 1977 he would be kissing Remus John Lupin, he... He would've thought he'd gone mad, for why would Remus, the smartest, the most beautiful, the _best_ person he knew, why on earth would he kiss _him_? He couldn't explain that.

But Remus was touching him, he had trailed his hands down Sirius' back and suddenly he'd pressed Sirius close, crushed him against him, and kissed him with more passion that Sirius had thought possible. He groaned and slipped his thigh between Remus' just to get a little bit closer, just a little bit nearer the most precious thing he'd ever had. He had been hard since Remus had fallen on top of his during the snowball fight earlier that evening, but when he ground his hips into Remus' he felt, for the first time, that Remus was in a similar state. His eyes widened, Remus was excited because of him and it made him want him even more.

He ground his hips into the boy breaking the kissing they'd been enveloped in for the past minutes, making Remus groan at the loss but them he started to whimper as Sirius started to kiss his way down his throat. Nibbling, kissing, trailing Remus' scars until he came across a barrier, oh how he hated the fact that Remus always wore all of the school uniform. He growled as he tugged the material, stupid prick who'd invented these tools of evil. He might've laughed at the thought that vests were tools of evil, if he hadn't been so damn frustrated with it at that moment. He was interrupted from his strange thoughts when Remus raised his arms above his head. Oh, clever, smart, wonderful boy. Sirius came close to ripping the clothes of his head, just to get the garment out of the way. And then he was kissing Remus' neck again and that time he didn't stop at the neckline, no, he proceeded with unbuttoning all his shirt buttons while kissing his way over Remus' chest, he followed a particularly harsh scar from his right chest up until he reached the end of it, up by Remus' right ear. There he lingered to nibble his earlobe making Remus moan. Merlin how he loved the noises he made.

And then before he knew what he was doing he'd moved his head back to Remus' chest and wrapped his lips against one of his nipples.

"Ah!" Sirius felt Remus arch against him, felt his knees weaken and he held the boy close, supporting his weight as he continued to bite and kiss it, brushing his teeth against it making Remus cry out. Sirius was positively sure that he would be able to find release in just hearing Remus' replies to his exploring, but this wasn't the time to find out. Suddenly he felt a hand beneath his chin and he was pulled away, pulled away from the intense pleasure he'd had in torturing the werewolf. He was pulled up to look into Remus' face. Merlin, he was a sight to behold. His lips were bruised from his hard treatment; his cheeks were red with pleasure. But the thing that amazed Sirius the most was, as always, his eyes. It was still a week until the full moon but Remus' eyes were starting to adopt the colour of the wolf's eyes. They grew more and more yellow as the moon drew closer, but at this moment they were still more brown then yellow and darker than usual. Sirius thought that one of Remus' most beautiful features was his eyes. And he realized that he loved the fact that Remus was a werewolf too, he hated how it hurt him, he hated the fact that he'd have a hard time after graduating from Hogwarts because of it, but Remus would never have been Remus, if he hadn't been a werewolf. So, in conclusion, Sirius loved the wolf too. Oh, Merlin he _loved _Remus.

His head was being held gently in Remus' hands. It was a loving gesture, and then Remus leaned in and kissed both of his eyelids before brushing his lips against his. Sirius wanted to give him the same treatment. So, naturally, he did. He took his face into his hands and kissed Remus' eyelids in the same fashion as Remus had earlier. Remus turned his face into Sirius' palm, brushing his lips against it before looking back at him.

"You just might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen" The words escaped him on their own will but at Remus reaction he wanted to say them all over again. He turned scarlet all over and gave him a look that made his stomach do flip flops. He couldn't quite believe that Remus was looking at him like _that_. So _wanton_. "You don't know what you do to me"

Sirius didn't understand how those words could've affected Remus that much but the moment he'd said it Remus immediately touched him, really touched him, not the hesitant ghosts of touching he'd been doing since Sirius had kissed him. The hands moved from his lower back to the front, Sirius moaned appreciatively when Remus kissed his neck and started to unbutton his shirt. He gasped at Remus' persisting touches. And to his surprise Remus grew more and more urgent in his kisses and he couldn't help letting whimpers escape him at the abuse. He let his hands fall to his sides; it was a submissive act on his. He just couldn't focus when Remus was touching him like this, he could hardly _breathe._

And then to his immense surprise Remus, the kindest most loving person in the _world_, snarled. Snarled? Like a wolf¸ he'd never _heard _anything like it escape Remus' lips before and Sirius looked up in surprise, slightly worried. And then he was pushed roughly in the chest and had to take several stumbling steps away, he couldn't help but be hurt, was he pushing him away now? But then Remus put a hand against his naked chest and pushed him backwards until his knees hit his bed and suddenly it was another sort of feeling that was enveloping him. He had just awoken the wolf. He couldn't be sure how he'd done it but all the same, the look that Remus gave him when he'd fallen onto the bed, was a look of outmost hunger, a look that said that Sirius had just presented himself as omega male while Remus had taken the position of Alpha. The thought made him burn. He looked up from his position in the bed and suddenly he was _pinned _down, his hands above his head and Remus' knee deliciously positioned between his legs. And it was Sirius time to be embarrassed by the noises he was making. He'd never imagined that _Remus_ could be an alpha wolf; he certainly _wished_ that he was, but never _thought._ And now, oh sweet, sweet Merlin, he was being kissed and bitten and nibbled until all rational thoughts flew out the window.

"Mine..." Sirius thought that he'd imagined it, the whisper of a word against his throat but then Remus pulled back and stared wide-eyed at him. And Sirius realized that Remus _had_ said it, and was now ashamed of the words. Remus pulled back and avoided his eyes.

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He couldn't look at him. He'd never been so embarrassed, so petrified. "I'm sorry" it was whispered and he was suddenly terrified at what Sirius might _think_, might _say_. Remus had never ever done anything alpha in his entire life, and then... Now? Why now? Remus was twisting his thoughts over and over, trying to make sense into the comment. He'd always thought he'd be an omega wolf, submissive, he was as a person. And then he thought of Sirius and he just wanted to... _pounce_.

"Sorry for what?" Remus looked over at Sirius in surprise. He had sat up too and was frowning at him tilting his head to the side, looking very much like a dog at the time.

"I... You heard what I said..." Remus blushed, and avoided his eyes. He heard Sirius shift on the bed and started when he felt arms wrap around his waist and a raven-haired head against his shoulder.

"And you thought I would be upset about you being an alpha male?" Sirius whispered against his skin, kissing his collar bone holding him close. Remus closed his eyes, how could he understand so perfectly?

"I..ye-...are you?" He had to force himself to say it, to admit that he was worried, that he was vulnerable. Even as his subconscious told him that he was alpha, when it came to... _sex._

"No. I'm not upset." Sirius said, and Remus was sure he could hear the smile on his face. Why was he smiling? "If I was surprised?" he was whispering in his ear. "Yes." Hands were moving against his abdomen pulling the shirt apart and off. "Disappointed?" He threw the shirt away, slipping hands over erect nipples, making Remus sigh deeply. "Merlin no. No, no, no" It was spoken with such feeling that Remus suddenly got the idea that Sirius _liked_ him being alpha male...

"You're not?" He knew that he wasn't. He'd heard it in his voice, the complete honesty it spoke, but... he had to know, he had to hear it. Sirius was kissing his neck slowly, deliberately. He'd stopped for a second when he'd asked the question and Remus was frightened that he'd pushed him too far, but then he slipped his arms around him, encircled him, held him close.

"I'm not..." Remus looked over his shoulder to look the boy in the face. Sirius was looking at him, but not like he usually looked at him. This gaze adored, loved, caressed. Remus shivered. To think that Sirius was capable of looking at _him _like that... It was unbelievable. "Merlin Remus. Don't you know?" Remus looked at him, slightly confused. What didn't he know? That he didn't have a problem with his sexual nature? He hoped not, he wanted them to explore it further.

"I've dreamt about this, I've dreamt about this for _years_, I've imagined touching you" He caressed his face. "I've imagined telling you how I feel. But I never actually _thought_ that this might happen." Remus couldn't believe what he was saying. Sirius? Sirius had dreamt about this? For years? "I love you" Remus frowned at him, what? Loved? Sirius Black, the player? _He _loved him? He _loved_ him? He loved _him_? "I've been in love with you for years... Since... Merlin I don't know"

Remus was having the must peculiar thoughts, he kept thinking about a moment the year before. Sirius had been snogging a 7th year girl, Remus had been sitting in the couch across from theirs and he'd been doing his potions essay. He'd been annoyed, and he'd had the feeling that he was being watched, he kept looking up and seeing that Sirius was looking at him only to look away and redouble his kissing of the girl. At the time he couldn't understand Sirius' behaviour or why it had made him feel so upset...

"You still don't believe me?" Sirius said slowly, smiling at him. Suddenly Remus found himself pushed against the bed in the very similar position that Sirius had been minutes before. "Let me prove it to you" Remus shivered at the promise those words held. Sirius caressed his abdomen and kissed his neck "Let me show you how I feel." Remus groaned and arched into his touch, thankful that Sirius had some knowledge of these sorts of things before, because Remus couldn't summon a single comprehensible thought at the moment.

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_**That's all folks! Review!**_


	3. Instalment 3

**Authors notes:**

_**I did say that this was finished; I said that I wouldn't write this, I said I couldn't get it out. But finally, FINALLY(!!!) it made itself out of my head, and I thank God(Buddha/Vishnu/Allah/Merlin), that HERE IT IS! YES! YES! YES!!!**_

_**This is the final instalment of So be it, waaaay over due! Hope you enjoy it!**_

_**Love **__****_

**So be it – 3****rd**** instalment**

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He couldn't _breathe_. He simply _couldn't_ breathe.

There was a hand on his naked chest, just above his navel, drawing lazy circles across his body. Another hand stroked his side. Wow... Just wow. Remus stared at the boy above him, the wonderful, wonderful boy that was making him want to do seriously unthought-of things just to stop the burning of his skin, the burning caused by Sirius. He'd always figured that snogging and things like... _that_ was greatly exaggerated.., But Sirius; Sirius had proved that to say that Remus was wrong, would be the understatement of the year.

Now, when he was doing all of that with _Sirius_, of all people, who was the one who said that you couldn't live without _it_, well..._ finally_ he got it. An hour ago, he couldn't imagine ever living with it, now he didn't know how he could possibly live _without_ it. It only took a half hour snogging with a _boy _to make him addicted, and maybe it was because it _was _a boy, but most likely it was because it was _Sirius._

Remus' thoughts were broken as the boy who'd taught him everything kissed him deeply. Remus had to force his body to kiss him back, not because he didn't want to, _Merlin no,_ but because he couldn't move when Sirius touched him. He couldn't _breathe._

He needed to do something, something to show him how he felt, what Sirius made him _feel_. He slipped his hands into his best mate's hair and pulled him close, Sirius moaned appreciatively. "Damn..." Sirius said when he pulled back. "You are amazing". Remus blushed at the words, making Sirius grin feral.

"Better than the rest?" He said, not realizing he was thinking about the others until he'd said it. Sirius snorted and eyed him with an incredible expression, at least that's what he thought it was, he couldn't really tell in the dark room.

"Remus?" He said wondering. "You're nothing like them. You're _it_." He said meaningful. "You're the _only_ one who can make me feel this way, even _before_ I kissed you, you were the only one who has made me feel like _this_" Sirius said heartfelt trying to hold him closer than he'd been doing. "I know that this is sudden for you, but it isn't for me." He kissed him slowly. "You are my _forever_." Remus eyes widened. "You don't have to say anything, and I won't force you to do anything you don't want to" He said quickly. "But I'm going make you come undone, and then I'll pull you back together so I can do it again." He said tauntingly licking the lobe of Remus' ear. Remus moaned at the words and the feel of Sirius pressed tightly against him. He nudged Sirius head to the side and kissed him passionately, wrapping his legs around him, pushing their groins together.

It was Sirius turn to moan as he pushed himself into Remus again, Remus arched his back pushing back. "I want..." He panted. "I want..." He groaned as Sirius quickened the rubbing of their bodies against each other. "Please." He panted against Sirius neck.

"I'll do anything, give you anything." Sirius panted and kissed any and every part of Remus' body he could reach. Remus kissed his shoulder, eying him trough lidded eyes.

"I want you." He said and touched down Sirius' chest. "I just want you" And he watched as Sirius closed his eyes, as if in pain.

"Remus" He whispered it. "Remus, don't say that." Remus frowned at him. He thought...

He turned cold. Was he mistaken? Sirius had told him that he loved him, and touched him in a way that made Remus think that he wanted him? He couldn't understand, and he eyed Sirius with a confused hurt expression. Sirius opened his eyes looked down at him. "Don't say unless you mean it; don't say it unless you want it, forever. Because that's what would happen Remus. If you tell me you want me, I kiss you and I'll make love to you and I will never be able to let you go"

Sirius meant the words as a warning, a final reproach to the words Remus had spoken, a way for him to stop what they were doing immediately. But Remus didn't hear the words as a warning, didn't hear it like a reproach. Remus heard the most beautiful words he'd ever heard, him and Sirius. Forever. "Yes..." He hissed and eyed Sirius seriously before kissing him deeply. "Sirius..." He said slowly and Sirius eyed him with a worried expression on his face. "Make love to me" He said fiddling with Sirius pants zipper. "Make me yours so I can make you mine." Sirius shuddered at the words, pushing his erection against his.

**αΩ£**

"Are you sure?" He asked with the last restraint he could muster, the last of his fight. Remus smiled as he touched his chest.

"I'm sure." He said looking him in the eye while nodding. "I love you and you're mine." He said and pulled Sirius naked chest against his, panting into his hair. "Please Sirius." He said breathlessly in his ear. "Make love to me so I can fuck you" Sirius nearly came at those words, the thought that Remus would... Merlin, he couldn't think about it without shivering with pleasure. He growled and turned his head to kiss the beautiful werewolf ardently while raising his hips so Remus could pull down the zipper of his trousers. Sirius kissed him slowly and deliberately and he felt Remus pull his zipper all the way down before slipping cold hands down the back grabbing his buttocks. Sirius eyed the boy beneath him and groaned at his expression and his touch.

"Do you want me?" He whispered teasingly in the smaller boy's ear. He pulled down Remus' zipper while eying him interestedly; he didn't want to miss a single expression that crossed his adorable face. Remus gasped as Sirius touched his erection through the opening of his pants. "Do you want me to make love to you?" Sirius breathed against Remus' stomach as he kissed his way down his chest, pushing down his trousers. "Do you want me to touch you Remus?" He teased, his hand suspended over the bulge in his underwear. Remus groaned in frustration.

"Stop teasing and - Ah!" Remus' eyes widened as Sirius deliberately touched him through his underwear. Sirius grinned down at him, loving the sounds that escaped the boy as he let his hand trail over the smaller boy's erection. "_Sirius!_"

Sirius leaned down kissing the boys lower abdomen trailing the lining if his pants. "Sirius _please_" Sirius eyed him from his position between his legs and even though he could barely make out Remus' face he could hardly stop himself from coming at the sight. He was beautiful, and to think that Sirius could have him, right at that moment.

He'd hesitated when Remus had told him to make love to him... If Remus found it uncomfortable, the chances that he'd fuck Sirius as hard as he wanted would greatly diminish. So Sirius wanted to wait until he had_ that_ pleasure, there _was_, however, something that Sirius wanted almost as much as Remus pounding him into the mattress, and that was what he was on his way to do.

Sirius smiled wickedly at him before tugging on the pants, pulling them half way down over his thighs. Remus gripped the sheets beneath him, arching, trying to get Sirius to touch him. Sirius grinned at his response; Remus wasn't going to be disappointed that Sirius had changed his plans a little. Sirius breathed against his erection, making it twitch in response. "Please."

"Please what?" Sirius whispered against his thigh before kissing it lightly. Remus groaned desperately.

"Touch me, please just-" Sirius leaned in and folded his hand against the only part of Remus he'd only briefly seen, the only part he'd never touched. He watched Remus deliberately; he wanted to see _every_ reaction.

**αΩ£**

"Ah!" Remus couldn't help slipping his hand into Sirius hair as he gently licked him. This is where it got fuzzy for Remus; everything so far had been amazing,_ wonderful_. But the moment Sirius touched him so intimately; Remus lost all sensible thoughts, lost all reason. When Sirius loved him like he was doing at that moment, Remus was turned into a grunting, grinding, moaning fool who whimpered, growled and panted at the things he did to him. And it wasn't only the licking and sucking, it was the hands that caressed his thighs lovingly, the blue eyes that stayed focused on his face to see every little change in his expression, to pull back, work harder, everything to make Remus come undone. And when Sirius hand moved his hands lover, that's when everything unfolded, everything stopped.

"Sirius!" He called aware of himself gripping the sheets tightly forcing himself not to push too hard into Sirius mouth but unable to completely. He felt gentle kisses on his thighs as the white disappeared from underneath his lids. Sirius came up to his face, grinning widely, looking more proud than Remus had ever seen him.

"You liked it?" Remus eyed the boy unbelievable before kissing him deeply.

"I loved it, I love you" He said pushing the boy down on the bed underneath him kissing him softly. Sirius looked up at him with a lazy sort of excited look. And Remus smiled down at him, still not understanding quite how he got in the position her found himself in. He was sitting naked on top of his practically naked best friend. Remus blushed suddenly loosing the nerve he had started out with. Sirius must've seen the hesitance in his face because he smiled up at him, kissed him slowly and brought Remus' hands to his chest. "Love you" he whispered as Remus started to touch him hesitantly. "Only you." Remus eyed him seriously before kissing him slowly.

Sirius watched him closely as he started kiss his neck, moving down his chest slowly. "Yes..." He hissed as Remus kissed a nipple carefully, before pulling it into his mouth. "Remusss..."

Remus started to feel that power, the power of knowing how he was affecting him, knowing how Sirius was writing underneath him because of him, because Remus had made him feel that way. He kissed his way down his abdomen as his thumbs hooked onto pants. Sirius clutched his hair panting when Remus had removed his underwear and kissed his way down his chest slipping his hands up his thighs once more. Remus tried to mimic what Sirius had done to him, the only experience he'd had in the act. He watched Sirius closely as he took him in hand. Sirius arched up into his touch whimpering. Remus watched him surprised and moved his hand again, tightening his grip a bit.

"Harder." Remus eyed Sirius wondering, and gripped him tighter, pushing harder and Sirius arched, groaned, panted. Remus moved his other hand, slipped it up Sirius' thigh brushing his short nails against the muscles formed after years of Quidditch practice. He eyed Sirius most private parts, wondering again how he ended up in this position, but not caring. Because seeing the sight before him, the beautiful black haired boy laid out like a feast, the alpha in him reared its head once more.

**αΩ£ **

"Sirius?" Sirius opened his eyes, eying the werewolf wondering and he gulped at the look on his face. Remus was staring at him with the hungriest expression he'd ever seen and Sirius' watched the slow movements of his lover. "Sirius... I will have you" He said determinedly. Sirius' breath hitched at the force behind the statement. Remus moved his legs apart, settling himself between them.

"Yes..." He hissed as Remus let his hands and body move up his body, pushing their naked chests against each other.

"I want have you right now" He whispered against his ear as he gripped Sirius hands tightly in his. "But I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't" Sirius said quickly and nodded towards his bedside table. Remus let go of his hands as Sirius reached for the drawer. Remus eyed his every move, giving Sirius the distinct feeling of being the prey; the thought made him shiver as he found the jar in the drawer. He pulled it out and handed it to Remus.

Sirius closed his eyes as Remus prepared them both; the sight alone sure to make this a very short experience. Sirius shuddered as he felt Remus fingers on him; it was really happening, all he ever wanted, was in his arms right then, all he ever wanted he was going to get. And as he looked into the eyes of the werewolf, his eyes darker and more golden, he realized that it wasn't only perfect, it was far more than he deserved. And it was his.

"I love you" Remus said and he slipped his fingers from Sirius' body and positioned himself by his entrance. Sirius gripped Remus' fingers on his hips and waited until the werewolf looked him in the eye.

"I love you"

**αΩ£ **

The end, for real this time ;)


End file.
